Barreling down the highway to hell, straight to Steel City

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump may be more likely to become the Prince of Promises than the President of the United States. But in the run-up to Tuesday’s Pennsylvania’s primary election he said something in the southwestern corner of the state that caught our attention. “Steel, we’re bringing it back,” he told Pittsburghers.

If he meant he was bringing the steel industry back to America, someone should tell him that the U-S-A is the fourth largest producer in the world, with output of nearly 80 million metric tons in 2015.

Trump probably meant he would bring steel back to Pittsburgh, the Steel City, home of the Steelers and Iron City Beer. He said he’s going to bring coal back to the region too.

Since steel and coal never really left the area we can assume he means Big Steel and King Coal. Not likely, say the experts, although who would ever accuse Trump of pandering?

Many native and lifelong residents of Pittsburgh, whose immigrant forebears came to the area to mine coal, make coke and work in the mills, were part of the cheering Trump campaign crowd, but even they have conceded that the area’s steelmaking prowess imploded more than 30 years ago and will never return.

Pittsburgh now gets props as rust belt royalty — the Renaissance City, The Paris of the Appalachians. Perennially touted as one of America’s most livable cities, it is now getting global attention as a vacation destination for its natural beauty, its museums, sports teams, great vistas and friendly people.

The former Smoky City (aka “Hell with the lid off”) once made more than half of America’s steel but now makes about 5%. It is becoming better known as a hub for healthcare innovations, education, computer technology, robotics and even its night life. In December, Zagat named Pittsburgh the No. 1 food city in America for 2015 and said it was “poised for even more exciting things in 2016.”

How or why would Trump make steel huuuuuge again in Pittsburgh?  He’s going to need steel for that wall along our border with Mexico — lots of it — so that must be it.

He’s on the record saying the 2,000-mile wall would be concrete reinforced with steel rebar. That would require hundreds of thousands of tons of rebar, but that is not enough to make Pittsburgh a steel powerhouse again.

If Trump is serious about returning the city to its former glory, he has to think bigger. A modest proposal: Make the wall entirely out of steel plate, three inches thick, just to be extra safe, and 20 feet high. For some reason, there’s not much discussion about the need for a wall across our northern border. We’ll build one there too. And underneath these walls we can drive steel piling 10 feet deep to keep people from tunneling in. And what about the coasts?  Steel walls and piling along our shores could keep out boat people while at the same time protecting the Homeland from rising ocean tides.

Now we’re talking Big Steel!

And the profits? Construction steel costs about $600 a ton on average. Since Mexico is paying for it, let’s make that a cool $1,000.